War inside my head

Stolen moments,
out of his and her life,
are at war.
no its not a battle,
its unceasing,
bleeding of the soul.
wailing wind whistles shrilly,
singing his pyrrhic victory song.
wearing the moments wreath,
he walks away,
leaving not a trail,
which she can follow.




You have changed, I think,
But I am no one to judge,
for better or for the worse.
not even allowed to ponder,
because in my hands it was not.

Not to judge,
you taught me well,
You knew you would change,
and drift apart
being judged is not what you would want.

Cannot tag you as bad,
blot you as wrong,
Tell me,
how am I supposed to forget
the past gone.

“I am responsible for you”,
You said once,
Yes, for all the pain you are responsible,
really responsibly,
you did play that part.

So responsibly that the only pain I felt,
was not from the path of thorns,
or from bruises of the world,
but from whispers of my help,
echoed back from the dark oblivion you were now part of.

Tale of survival

I flounder on the road,
my feet bleeding and soul crying.
Turning back I see the golden road left behind,
fleeting away in some other lifetime.

With vanquishing hope and despairing sighs,
I trudge along the path of burning splinters.
Searing pain reverberating in my head like a scream,
simmering to break out yet unable to find its way.

I doubt I can bear this long,
my strength failing as I move along.
Fire in my heart refuses to extinguish,
veiling me from flagrance around.

As numbness prevails I keep lulling,
about the happy days inside my head .
Till each fibre of in my body joins in the chorus
singing the ballad to keep moving ahead.

I still keep walking, tears flow down like raindrops
extinguishing the burning splinters below,
Cooling the path and fecundating the ground ,
nips of grass shooting from below.

Barefoot I tread not floundering this time ,
feeling the soft green grass blades glazed with due drops,
moistening the music of my soul sucking the numbness away,
soothing the burns of the journey long gone.

Turning back I see the burning road left behind,
fleeting away in some other lifetime,
only to realize that the struggle was worth the find,
the peace of the greens is better than the shimmer of the golden tiles.


1-2-3 Rule for efficient To Do list

One of the major things which life of a software developer teaches  is to determine how much time coding a feature would take, taking into consideration learning curve, development and testing time (and yeah not to forget your relaxation time as well! ). I have always found it hard to estimate, setting unrealistic targets which resulted in mismatch of expectation. Well, rookie mistake of a freshly graduate engineer, I could discount myself for this. I have learnt to improve along the way. One of the things which helped me get better understanding of myself was to use 1-2-3 rule for my to do list.

Assume that on any given day you can accomplish one big mission, two medium tasks, and three small things. Get those done as best you can. Then, as your workday concludes make the next day’s 1-2-3. This will help you keep pace with the reality vs expectation problem, and slowly you would be able to get things done under timelines set by yourself. Trust me its immense happiness when things get completed within deadlines you set for yourself, making one more disciplined.

Try and complete 1 cringe worthy mission before lunch. By taking down the most reviled task first you set yourself up for considerable paced day. Avoid procrastination by not to distract yourself with facebook/chatting before it gets done, keep your phone aside.

You could use 1-3-5 version rather than 1-2-3, whatever works better with you. Happy working !

Lessons learnt while Ice skating – be fearless, do not give up

Olympics Day 13 - Ladies Figure Skating

Last year I went for artificial Ice skating with my friends, in a mall in Delhi. It was supposed to be an hour session. There must have been around 50 people who would be skating. I noticed that there were people of ages from small 4-5 year old kids to adults in their 40’s, but mostly crowd consisted of college going students in early 20’s. Given its delhi which experiences no snowfall ever, I take it the experience was fairly new to almost everyone. As soon as the time started I noticed almost everyone was holding the side railing and just managing to keep themselves on two feet. Some 10 minutes later, few managed to leave railing and started skating following the instructions given by the trainer but still remained in the proximity of railing as safety and backup option. To my surprise 3-4 children were already in the center of the ring, though I could see they too were learning, but they managed to overcome any kind of fear and “jump into the pool”. They were soon joined by all kids, as I noticed sitting in pain, from one of the really bad falls which had my hands bruised badly and knees hit, and wondering if I should take break. More than 30 minutes into the time, and few mishaps down most of the people were sitting outside having had their full. There is something to be said about childhood which we tent to forget too absorbed in growing up. The main difference I realized was that the children were much more fearless and did not give up after falling once or twice and continued till they became good at it. Realizing this, I too was filled with new found belief that if those little kids can so can I. I got up even though I was in pain, stopped being the safe zone – ‘near the railing person’, increased speed. I fell again after covering a few meters, got up and did it again. Soon I was much better, pain was forgotten by elation I was feeling. I decided to complete the full round at good speed without falling, which I did before the clock ticked completion of time. There was a feeling of satisfaction inspite of the whole body aching. An important lesson revived. A day well spent. In general, I have found observing children as a good way to overcome bogged down spirits. Try it, might do you some good!

PS – Thanks vartika for the ice skating birthday treat :)